I had a toddler, a young baby, another on the way AND an identity crisis.
Lucky me! That summer, and the two years before it, maternity clothes had been the staple. In fact, I’d been wearing maternity clothes for so long that I didn’t actually know what clothing I liked anymore! Actually, that’s a lie, but those I DID like were sized in months, not the 10-12 (14) to which I was accustomed. The Finger Family Song had been on repeat-loop for so long that I’d forgotten what music actually was. The never ending hospital appointments and check ups routine meant that I’d not been seeing my friends either. No doubt about it to me, I had lost my identity and all in all? It was pretty shit!
I am fully aware that confusing clothing and music choices are pretty first world problems. However, at the time, it felt massive to me. Motherhood had consumed me and my identity. I was a mother and that was all. In with the babies out with the personality.
I’d love to say that buying some new clothes and downloading some music fixes all life’s problems, but as we know: it doesn’t*.
One thing that can help though is knowing that you are not alone (we are a sadistic race after all). I think social media can go a long way in that respect. It was a year later that I started my Instagram account and as a result, I have met, and reconnected with, some lovely people. Being able to say or hear “me too” can really make all the difference. If Social Media’s not your gig, reach out to a friend, she’s probably dying to hear someone else say they feel the same as her!
As mums, (or dads) we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. Firstly, with a young baby, you do effectively become a cow. (in both the traditional milk-providing and offensive sense!) Yes, your toddler will inevitably throw a hissy fit over not being allowed to set fire to the cat, or something equally ridiculous, in the supermarket. No, neither of those things make you great company, but the people that love you will understand, after all: those years are short. And no, these things do not define you, yes- you will change but you just need to embrace those changes for what they are. You’ll find new clothes and music eventually!!
In the end?
You have an awesome new dance partner (or three) to dance around the kitchen with! And they are the best of times- regardless of what’s playing!
Find Keep-Mum On Social Media:
**On a serious note, if you feel what you are feeling may be signs/ symptoms of depression or another illness please do speak to your GP, a friend or family member. Remove The Stigma, Mental Health Awareness week 2017.
Don’t Forget To Leave A Comment!